My favorite store

I like shopping.

I didn't list shopping as one of my hobbies, because it's not really shopping I like--it's eating. But you see, the store where I shop, Mounds Pet Food Warehouse, you get to eat whatever you can find on the floor. Mom takes me to Mounds about twice per month. Sometimes my sister Juno comes along too, but that's not the point here. We usually stop at Mounds on the way home from the dog park in Verona. I get very excited about going to Mounds. In fact, I'm usually pretty happy to leave the park, because there's a good chance that Mounds will be the next stop. Then, when Mom gets into the left-hand turn lane, I just know that treats are in my near future!

Mom usually parks in the same place, to the left of the door, so I don't even have to think about which way to pull her when I hop out of the car. One time Mom parked on the right side of the door though, and I got confused and ran the wrong way! Dad was with us and he laughed and laughed. Very funny (not).

Once we're inside, the fun begins! We walk up and down the food isles, and usually there's at least one bag that's leaking, and little bits of kibble are strewn hither and yon (that means all over the place, for those of you who aren't so literate). Mom says maybe they should've called me "Hoover," the way I clean the floor (I guess President Hoover liked to eat too). Sometimes we have to go to the isle with collars, leashes, or bottles of pee-smell remover, but we don't dawdle there long. They have cats for adoption in the back, but I'm not there to adopt a darn cat. Although I do eat cat food if there's some on the floor.

Anyway, Mom usually picks up a bag or two of food plus some rawhides, and then we go to the "checkout." They call it checkout because that's where you can check out all the good treats in the bowl on the counter. The workers there all tell me how handsome I am, and then they toss me treats. And then Mom gives me treats. I really like it when there's a long line, because then I get more treats while we wait. Mom hands the nice people a piece of plastic, signs a piece of paper, and then we have to leave, even though I never want to leave. I would like to get a job at Mounds, but Mom says not till I'm at least 16! /psm

Rules

I'm a law-abiding dog. At least for my own laws.

There are some rules in life that must be followed carefully. There are others that really don't matter. What's important is to know which is which.

When Mom or Dad say "sit" and they have a bowl of food in their hand, you sit. Then you get to eat. Otherwise, you're just going to wait.

On the other hand, if there's a big truck coming, and you want to jump in front of it, just do it. Don't worry if Mom or Dad say "No!". I've never gotten hurt by jumping in front of a truck. Admittedly, I've never actually succeeded in doing so. (Darned leash.) But I'll keep trying--there's really nothing wrong with it.

Don't rely on others for all your rules. Sometimes they are just clueless. Can you believe that Mom and Dad don't know about barrels of sand? They are very dangerous! When I see a barrel of sand sitting on a street corner in winter, I am very careful not to get close to it. Dad and Mom, ignorant as they are, would have me walk right past it.

Another rule that Mom and Dad ignore is the Pool Rule. Never get into the pool without permission from your parents. They must say "OK"--then you can get into the pool. If you get out of the pool and roll on the grass, you must get permission again to go back in. I had to teach Dad and Mom this rule. But they keep forgetting it. Sometimes they wander off and I have to wait for a long time before they remember to say "OK".

But I'm a rule-minding dog. Sometimes it's inconvenient. But it's worth it to do things right.

My little runaway

I'm a naughty dog.

At 5 o'clock this morning, I woke up Mom to go potty outside. I wanted to go in the backyard, but Mom knew that Juno would also want to go in the backyard and would baroo and baroo. At that time of the day, there are so many good smells that Juno just can't help herself. So, she took me in the front, where there's no fence. Juno doesn't like the front as much, so she waited patiently inside.

I really did have to go potty, so Mom let go of my collar. I peed, but when I was done, I took a quick look at Mom and bolted. I ran over to Mrs. Brose's house. Mom called me, and I looked at her. "Should I go back to her?" I thought. "No! I'll go sniff and sniff in the neighbor's yard. Maybe I can play hide-and-go-seek with Mom, too."

Well, Mom played a dirty trick on me. She went inside instead of playing with me! Something to do with having to get a pair of shoes to wear.

I had to go back. I decided the backyard was where I wanted to be, especially by the grape vine. Mom hopes I'm not eating grapes, which are supposed to be bad for dogs.